Confused Mom

We’ve just returned from our Labor Day vacation of beach camping with our neighbors. We had a surprisingly good time considering it was Confused Kid’s first camping trip. But, now that we’re back home and the dust has settled, I’m left with quite a few loads of campfire-smelly clothes, beach towels, and blankets. I hate laundry in general, but I think I detest vacation laundry the most.

Ishmael had Moby Dick, I have Moby Laundry.

I just can’t seem to get it done. Given the fact that both Confused Dad and Confused Kid wear, on average, 3 outfits a day EACH, I’m really not surprised it never ends. And then when you add to that the extra loads from vacation plus the normal household loads of sheets, towels, rugs, and general messes, the overwhelming mound of fabric turns into the monster that can’t be tamed.

We’re also potty training Confused Kid and some days he seems to like to pee more on cushioned surfaces than on the potty chair. Quite often a load of regular old socks and undies (a.k.a. “the stuff we really need washed”) gets bumped for cushion covers or the towels used to clean up the super-expensive-but-I-don’t-really-care-if-it-gets-peed-on-I-just-hate-cleaning-so-many-darn-towels rug in our family room. Pee on, young one, pee on.

But deep down I know the real reason it doesn’t get done is because I’m lazy. My mom keeps trying to point out the benefits of doing a load a day. “See, by the time the weekend comes around you’ll be done,” she says.

Yes, Mom, I get the theory behind it, but for some bizarre reason it seems too simple to do just one load a day.

I’m the kind of person who has to wait until there are two weeks worth and 15 piles before I can attempt it. Then, I can bitch and moan my way through all 12 hours it takes to wash, dry and fold everything and feel a real sense of accomplishment. Plus, Confused Dad gets really thankful when he finally has clean clothes again so it really seems like I’ve done something amazingly outstanding for our house when I do laundry. Plus, if I only did one load a day, how would you ever know I was doing something?

No, no, no, that would be too easy. And, of course, we all know that nothing in running a household is easy and manageable. No, it has to be difficult and capable of being completed only with a huge amount of agony and self-sacrifice. Only a superhero (or super martyr) mommy keeps on top of household chores, right? If I did one load a day and stayed on top of things, the house might function like a somewhat smoothly oiled machine.

And heaven forbid that happens.

I’m jumping right in and making my first post with only a half thought-out plan for what this blog will be about, with no fancy-looking design, and entirely without remorse.

Well, ok, there’s a little bit of remorse over not having a fancy-looking design because I am a graphic designer, but the no-plan part sits just fine with me. I figure if I actually take the time to do the design first I’ll never get started on the actual writing and therein lies the main reason for most of my problems.

Hello, my name is Leslie and I am lazy. If there were such a thing as Lazy Anonymous (or is it Lazies?) I would be a full-fledged member and a somewhat regular meeting attendee. Why do I consider myself lazy? Well, you see, it’s like this…

On any given day I wake up with notions of getting things done around the house, building a lucrative freelance business, not eating every snack food in site, spending educational, nurturing time with my three year old son and quality time with my husband. I dream of a clean home, closets full of clean clothes, a regular paycheck, fulfilling relationships, and no fear of seeing myself in a full-length mirror. Instead, I spend most days doing the bare minimum of what needs to get done (at the last minute, no less) and then hitting 10:00PM and wondering what the heck I did with my day.

At first I thought it was because I had too high of expectations of what could be accomplished in a day so I began to scale back my expectations. I’m now at the point where there are days that the only task I give myself is “grocery shop” and still can’t seem to get it done.

Now, before you think warm-fuzzy thoughts about how “it’s understandable, you’re a mom and that’s a full time job in itself,” I need to tell you two things. One, I’ve already been telling myself that same line for the last three years. And, two, I can’t even figure out how to spend the kind of time I want to with my son so it’s not like I’m succeeding at the mom-thing either. I admit, it did take almost a year for me to feel normal again after my son was born so the “full-time mom-job” thing was a viable excuse back then, but what the heck is my excuse for the last two years?!?!?

And so, internet friends, that is my reason for joining the hundreds of thousands of others out there who blog. I’ve decided that if I am going to get myself back into some sort of maintainable routine involving my family, my home, my health, and my business then I need to be accountable. I’ve challenged myself to put out there what I’m doing and share my progress online so I can begin to be the mom, wife, and freelancer I want to be. I hope you enjoy the journey. Feel free to laugh at me as much as you want because I’m hoping I’ll be doing the same :).